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Stepping Out (2) – Highly Commended

Stepping Out (2) – Highly Commended
June 28, 2017 admin

My beloved husband of fifty years died yesterday.

I stepped out of the hospice

-feeling elated that my prayers have been answered,

he has finally gone home, away from suffering and life so diminished.

-feeling relieved that he is no longer my responsibility,

I am free to care for myself and do whatever I want.

-feeling exhausted after nine months of caring for his every need,

countless difficult hospital visits, house filled with people and equipment.


My beloved husband of fifty years died last week.

I stepped out of the church

-feeling good that today’s funeral was full of joy and infinite love,

even our three broken-hearted children found it a positive experience.

-feeling proud that our four young grand-children rose splendidly to the occasion,

the sad day of memories enriched by fun and laughter.

-feeling God’s presence in the huge attendance,

prayers for me from a multitude of warm hearts.


My beloved husband of fifty years died last month.

I stepped out of my bed

-feeling broken as I work out a new normality,

discarding his un-needed possessions.

-feeling lonely in the dark, listening to the silence,

stroking his pillow, talking to an empty space.

-feeling fragile grappling with financial matters,

the mower, the car, the computer, then eating alone.


My beloved husband of fifty years died a few months ago.

I stepped out to life

-feeling nervous that I had taken on new challenges,

but hearing my beloved say, ‘Keep moving forward’.

-feeling hope because resurrection is a given,

and ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’.

-feeling thankful for family and friends always available if I need them,

and for all those years blessed with the love of my life.



© Ann Cooper

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