We weren’t childhood sweethearts or anything.
It’s just that I grew up with him.
My Dad knew his Dad
We’d go round…
and of course we got to know each other
But that’s all it was at first –
circumstance rather than choice.
I was 17 when I realised I’d fallen for him…
hook, line and sinker.
Turned out he’d always had a thing for me too
so we started stepping out.
They were heady days back then.
I was mad about him.
He made the best boyfriend…
steady, reliable, a great listener
and everyone agreed he was good looking.
As time went on I had to shed a few illusions.
Ever since I’d been little I’d known him as the
strong, protective type.
I thought nothing could touch me once we were stepping out together.
Turned out that wasn’t true.
But as our relationship deepened
I came to know how much he loves me.
And he really loves me.
It’s been me who’s had the wobbles over the years.
I’ve never been unfaithful
though I’ve no doubt he’d forgive me even if I had been.
(It can get a bit annoying –
being hitched to someone so perfect!)
Still, I do wonder sometimes….
Do I really love him?
I’ve known him so long there’s never been anyone else.
Sometimes I think it might have been better if we’d met later in life;
if I could remember a time when he wasn’t part of the picture.
Then perhaps I’d value him more?..…maybe…..who knows?
But then flashes of the old passion stir and my doubts disappear.
It helps keep the flame burning if we get to spend time alone together.
It’s easy to overlook in a busy life but
I’m sure it’s what the counsellors would recommend.
We like to get away…
to take long walks in the countryside.
It’s not that we talk much –
in fact the longer we’ve known each other, the less we talk,
but the richer the silences between us.
I’m glad I committed to him – over 35 years ago now.
We’re together
for better, for worse…
for richer, for poorer…
in sickness and in health.
And the best of all is – with him
there is no
“till death do us part”.
© Rachel Parkinson
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